I woke up this morning in tears. I had this sense of defeat like I am failing at being a woman. I am filled with such hope every month thinking that this will be the month for sure! I started feeling light cramping last night so I know that AF must be on her way.
I also realized that there is nobody I can reach out to here that understands this emotional journey. It is a topic so avoided! People just assume that we have chosen not to have any children but the truth is that we did not choose this. We want a child more then anything and our  hearts feel like there is  something missing.Our home is not filled with the laughter of a child.
We are both looking forward to our first official appointment at the Fertility Clinic but Nervous at the same time. I know that my weight will become a huge factor! I have struggled with it for a long time due to my thyroid disorder. I am at a loss of 35 pounds but it took me 15 months. I have 4 months before I am 40 and my odds of conceiving via IVF drop even further! I wanted to drop the last 20 pounds but I am realistic with a slowed metablism this is not going to happen.
I have  just had another set of labs drawn and we are awaiting the results of these. I am thankful that modern medicine can allow us a chance of having a child but saddened at the cost of it.
We have started a gofundme account which you can visit at this lnk.
HOPE

Please know that even a $1 donation will help us toward our ultimate goal of having a child. Our insurance covers none of the costs involved with  IVF. Our first appointment plus tests is going to cost us around $700.
We saved up to cover this but they actual cycles of IVF will be costly so we are hoping to find some people to help us cover the cost of medication.

I pray that I can help someone understand the process  of this journey including all the emotions involved. It is very hard to deal with each and every month